|Simmy Been Downloaden|
Hello everyone I.B.Lyon here reporting on the strange stats and skewed records of some players. After several reputable owners and some not so. Complained about a few players with outragous records at the start of this season. Madmuldoon contacted me and urged me with a cookie of Crack Cocaine, to look into the strange going ons. After several puffs for energy I started at the source of all that we are. Yes thats right, What If Sports headquarters in beautiful Cincinatti Ohio.
I sauntered up to the front doors and was instantly met by 2 burly security guards who shook me down for drugs and money. Then after a painful taseing session I was handcuffed and ignored. Several owners have complained of this treatment when contacting customer support so I was not suprised. After a day passed I was stashed in the corner to be dealt with at the convenience of WIS customer service. It was then I noticed a new employee sneaking around the servers. I let out a rather loud Crack fart , he was startled and turned to see where the commotion and stench came from. People, I dont mind telling you that the blood I had left after my weekly donation to buy crack, ran cold. I was staring into the face of known Cyber-terrorist, Osimmy-Been-Downloaden.
Thats right my brothers. His little beady eyes and rat like facial features were staring at me like Whitney Houston at a Crack pipe. With the spiddle leaking out of the corner of his rat mouth he smiled and said. "Mr Lyons I presume. Looks like your caught in the quagmire of WIS customer service.And theres nothing you can do to stop me!" With that he slithered out of my site and even though I screamed for WIS staff to stop him. They added more cotton to their ears and ignored my pleas for help.
After what seemed like days the janitorial crew threw me out accidentaly and I was freed by a fellow dumpster diver. As you can see my fellow HBD'ers. We are under attack by the worst Cyber Villian to roam the halls of WIS and theres nothing we can do.He's one of them! So just pay your $25.00 and hang on. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.