Tuesday, June 11, 2013


Ehull is much,Much happier now

Hello my fellow owners, Madmuldoon here. I.B. Lyon is on paid leave while dealing with female problems. *wink* I am traveling to Burlinton to talk to this years World Series Champ, Ehull. The Coat Factories made an unbelieveable comback winning game 5,6 and 7. They did this behind the arms of Marc Lawrence (3-0,3.28 ERA) and Don Nelson (4-0 ,2.57 ERA). On-base phenom  Mike Karnuth hit .386 and walked 10 times. Then Mickey Dawley and Marty Allen drove him home.
   I caught up to Ehull at the Bluebird Barbeque and was led to his table by a large breasted female. I read last years World Series interview and was ready for Mr Grumpy. But to my suprise there was Ehull smiling from ear to ear . He jumped up and nearly shook my arm off shaking my hand and said " I finally get to meet Madmuldoon. Sit here Mad" he motioned to the chair directly across from him. On the table was full tumbler filled with Blanton's ,and I was impressed.
  Our lovely little bird brought us two plates of Barbaque Poutine with a side of Onion Rings and while Ehull dug In I asked my first question . "Did you think the Coat Factories would repeat at the begining of the year Ehull?" He carefully wiped his mouth with a moist napkin and said. "The beginning of the season was full of optimism in Burlington. Most guys were back from the banner season healthy and ready for more. Truly the salad days. Then Teddy Buckley got hurt for the season. Guys got despondent. Marc Lawrence spiraled out of control and started abusing the Purple Drank. Mark Karnuth checked into Betty Ford with "exhaustion." But Old Don Nelson performed some mojo reversing ceremonial dances and suddenly the dark clouds parted just in time for the playoffs. He saved our season." Then he munched on a Onion Ring. Good Lord!! I don't mind telling you folks .This great attitude was not what I expected, Obviously the "Bong Chucking incident" in the offseason must have got his attention. Nobody wants to be paraded infront of cameras in a Blond Wig. And thats no way to treat a perfectly good Bong.
  Our tray of Baby-Back ribs and Pulled Pork in a Maple Sauce arrived ,I asked ."What are your favorite Coat Factories players?"  Ehull gave our little dove of a waitress a slap on the butt and replied' My favorite is Mickey Dawley. I call him Brocktoon. His flowing red hair bespeaks his cunning and prowess. Plus I traded for him in my first Wrigleyville season. Many called the trade foolish. But when I heard that East Hanover, NJ accent, I knew I had a straight shooter who would do great things. We all know he cranked three homers in Game 1 of the series but most people don't know that he did that after a night of hookers and blow with management. A true inspiration to the entire Coat Factory organization." Wow , Thats impressive I have a hard time finding my pants after a night like that. "What are your plans next season and beyond with the Coat Factories?" Ehull was pulling on his Pork and said " The team is aging fast. That's why we here at the Burlington Coat Factory have invested heavily in the future. Not prospects mind you. We've sunk tons of cash into our anti-aging and rejuvenation center. You'll see Don Nelson winning Cy Youngs for several decades more. Because when it comes right down to it, we want the Burlington Coat Factory to be known for more than coats and baseball. This is about radical life expanding treatments. And robots. Actually leave out the part about the robots. That's still secret."  After that answer, I was expecting Ron L. Hubbered to walk through the door and decided to get away from the philosophical.
   The Beautiful little bird cleared our table and set our desert down (Double shots of Blantons). "what is your favorite MLB team Ehull?"  We downed the shots and he said. "Arizona Diamondbacks"  Great team but losing Justin Upton has to hurt .Speaking of hurting, the check was brought to the table and after I made payment plans with the manager I asked my final question. "anything else you would like to add?" Ehull flashed his pearly whites and said. "If the moon were made of barbeque spare ribs, I and every last player on the Burlington team would most certainly eat it, then polish it off with a tall cool Budweiser. That is all."  Well said Ehull.....Well Said.
    I am back in my hotel room writing this piece in my yellow stained underwear. And several things strike me about Ehull. He has built a very good team here in Burlington and he can really pull some Pork. See ya all next year on the WHIF!!

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