Friday, July 25, 2014


The CINCINNATI RED LIGHT DISTRICTS traded Alex Cornelius to the LOUISVILLE REDTAILS for Artie WardAlbie Ordonez and Pinky Realmuto
Jeff has his RLD's in re-build mode and this trade makes sense. He gets a trio of younger players and sheds 8.3 million in payroll for the next 3 seasons, which can be used for IFA's. Jmuhtoff picks up a studly starting pitcher that will solidify his rotation. Like Christie Brinkley asked Chevy Chase "Are You Gonna Go For It??" Jmuhtoff says "Yes, God Yes!!"

Reese McGee
Reese "Fibber" McGee broke his hand and will be out 2 months. Not sure how he broke it?? You can't believe a word that comes out of Fibbers mouth. That's why I released him 2 years ago.

Felipe Barrios
Felipe "Slum Perro Millionaire" Barrios tweaked his neck and will be out 4 months. The Bandits season is like a game show gone wrong. 

Robb Wyatt
This crafty lefty makes 5 million a year and will miss the next 2 months with a torn ligament in his shoulder. Robb "Em Blind" Wyatt will keep cashing them checks during rehab. Dagnabit, that just ain't rite. 

Karl Faulk
You may think that Karl "Peter" Faulk gets his nickname because he can solve murders. You would be wrong....he's real popular with the ladies! This Sophomore corner infielder will miss the next 3 months with a bulging disk in his back. The bulge in his back will now match the one in the front......Kinda symmetrical! 

Chris Scott
It's Christmas in July!!  Chris "Krinkled" Scott is passing out the holiday cheer in the Springs. He will miss 2 weeks with a bad hammy. Ressda can be heard crying "Jingle Bells this season Smells.

Paxton Wells
Paxton "Wildcat" Wells likes to hit them homers. He'll be hitting the bricks for the next 2 weeks with a strained back. The injuries are straining Avantrael's patience. 

Louis Ramirez
For the second consecutive year, after signing a 4 year 25.6 million dollar contract, Louis "Lips" Ramirez lands on the DL. He will miss 2 weeks with sore ribs . So far his game is just a bunch of Lip Service.

Alex Johnson
Oh WHAT A HAPPY DAY! My favorite nicknamed player is on the DL. Alex "Spank My" Johnson will miss 3 weeks with a shoulder impingement. Who doesn't need a spank every once in a while???

Charles Reed
Charles "I kant spel butt I kan" Reed strained his MCL and will be out 2 weeks. The kid is hitting .183 and needs to learn how to spell hit. 


Benny Rivera
Age: 18B/T: S/R
Born: Loma de Cabrera, DO
Position(s): P (T4A)
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The Cobras signed this kid for 18 million and a S/T invite. The kid has some great projections but mid-50's make-up will hamper him.Not impossible, but regardless , he will be a good one.

Andres Banuelos
Colorado Springs
Age: 18B/T: R/R
Born: Villa Gonzalez, DO
Position(s): C
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A million bucks for a minor league catcher.

Jimmie Suarez
San Juan
Santurce Crabbers
Age: 18B/T: R/R
Born: Palenque, DO
Position(s): LF/CIF/2B/RF/DH
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Ralph spent 23.4 million on this kid. He's worth every penny......Can you say Chaaa Ching!!

Domingo Aceves
New York
Life Model Decoys
Age: 19B/T: R/R
Born: Frederiksted, VI
Position(s): P (none)
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Fencer is re-building his minors and this kid will help.

Rodrigo Martin
Wind Sizzlers
Age: 19B/T: L/L
Born: Bauta, CU
Position(s): LF
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This kid was signed for 6.1 million. He will hammer righties but will sit against lefties.Oh and he's very fast with great base running skills. A great pinch runner when he sits against the lefties.

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