WELCOME TO THE SILVER SEASON

 Howdy folks! This is the start of our 25th season in Wrigleyville . And after a commish change and some turnover it's mostly the same old group of Curmudgeons playing make-believe baseball. We have several new owners with us this year . Welcome to svick39 , zsiegri , dajack87 and  blitziscomin . May the wind always be at your back.
  This year on the WHIF we will have the season previews and weekly updates. Last year I had time to do mid season reports at the all star break. I think they went well and I have yet to decide wheather to do them this year. In the past we have had several guest reporters do power rankings and we still need a volunteer this year. So if your good with numbers or someone gave you a  groovy calculater for christmas. Let me know, and we will set you up with posting privleges.
  This is the start of my 5th calendar year writing the WHIF. And while sometimes it feels like a chore. Most the time it is a joy to write. I hope I can continue to slog out posts and sometimes entertain . So break out a new bottle of blantons or whatever alcoholic beverage you have handy . Pour a glassfull and raise it to the sky.

 May the errors be few and the homers be great. Only the W I S  Computer can tabulate your fate.
May your draft be great and the IFA's be many. I wish I could sign them for a handfull of Pennys.
Here we go again on a brand new season . Could the departure of Sordie bring civility and reason.
Heres to Hoopcoach our newest Commish. Did you know a Muskellunge is just a Big Fish.
Heres to the re-build of Mark and Rbedwell. Their teams play like crap, pardon the smell.
This game we play is tough and demanding. May your team at the end be the only one standing.

Merry Christmas to all,
Madmudoon

SANDBERG EVIL OR EVIL GENIUS? PART 2

 

  So now I had my merry bunch of thieves and we put our heads together and devised a plan. It was a three-prong attack on the WIS defenses. At high noon the Frito Banditos would faint a attack on the main gate then retreat while dropping hot pockets and playboys. This would distract the security forces of What if Sports in munching and heavy petting. At 12:05 the Lehman Bros CEO would parachute behind enemy lines in his Golden Parachute and the Hamburgler and I would scale the back wall and make our way to the main building.
  But Alas.... Things went terribly wrong from the start. The Frito Banditos took a Siesta and never distracted the guards and the Lehman Bros executive was captured right away. With the potential loss of his Golden Parachute he gave up the plan and the Hamburgler and I were captured and taken to the dungeon underneath the Citadel.
  I knew what would come next...torture and interogation.The Hamburgler wilted like the lettuce on a Big Mac and told what he knew for a happy meal. But I was like a rock, and endured intense whiskey boarding and frequent strip searches. Little did they know I was used to this treatment from my Ex/Current wife. The fools at WIS even went as far as to threaten me with " We have your wife so if you want to see her again you give us what we want". I told them that everyone in Cincinatti has had my wife and now that were re-married she will show up at paydays. God and the forces of nature couldn't stop this from happening.
  They left me alone after that, and when I sobered up from the Whiskey Boarding, I was able to take stock of my situation. My cell was very small with walls of bricks on three sides and bars on the other. There was a small tattered cot in the corner a metal toilet was hooked to the wall. I stuck my face between the bars and viewed a long hallway with a drab green floor. There was about five cells on each side with a steel door at the end of the hall. Just then a voice rang out from the cell opposite of mine. " Hello I.B........It's me Sandberg".

SANDBERG ,EVIL OR EVIL GENIUS? Part 1

Editors Note: Below is the first installment of my attempt to get to the bottom of the alleged Alias Conspiracy in Wrigleyville. I put my best man on the case , I. B. Lyon. I know I could have released this story in one part, but in the spirit of Charles Dickens. I need to increase readership or we may close up shop. Thanks MAD. 

BY: I.B.LYON


(WHIF-Cincinatti) After Madmuldoon asked me to dig into the shennanigans of the Sandberg/Groger conspiracy. I decided to make my way to the only place I could obtain information. Thats right kiddos....WIS headquarters in beautiful Cincinatti ,Ohio.
  After some surveilance of WIS from the bar across the street. I concluded that I would need to recruit some help to gain access to the Citadel of Cyber-Space. So I did what any crack investigative reporter would do. I went to my friend in the Red Light district for help, Jeff2106. I found him at "Gertrudes Slap and Tickle Emporium" deep in the bowels of the Red Light district. He was engaged in a muff diving competition and completed a very nice double summy with a triple twist. After recieving scores of 9.5, 8.9, 9.9 and 9.1 he was assured of a podium finish. I was able to get some advice between dives and Jeff told me there was a myriad of ruffians and scoundrels in the audience who for the right price or a blow job would help me in my endevour.
  I thanked him for the sage wisdom and let him go to complete his final dive. Now people, madmuldoon doesn't pay me shit so I had very little money to offer the thieves and miscreants. So I did what any middle aged man of limited means would do. I re-married my ex-wife and when my back was turned she blew every swinging dick in the place. After the honey-moon was over I was able to recruit 4 of the most notorius of thieves the world has ever seen. The Hamburgler, 2 of the Frito Banditos and the CEO of Lehman Brothers.

(To be Continued)

Frosted Shock Squad Charms, they're magically delicious!

Shooter: Moonbats eat pieces of shit like Yorvit Delgado for breakfast!!!

Happy: Moonbats eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!?

Shooter: (after pregnant pause) NO!!!

Thanks for keeping the series exciting, Byung Hung Kim, errr... Yorvit Delgado. Salud!