Where Are the IFA's???

Hello Wrigleyville fans this is I.B. Lyon reportting for WHIF News. This week Doon brought to my attention that this years IFA pool is rather Weak. Doon asked if I could investigate the reason or reasons that the pool is luke warm , so to speak.
I first contacted WIS management about the problem. And i was stone walled with the usual denial of any problem. To them this is just another ordinary talent pool. So i am forced to take drastic measures. Yes, I hired a private investigator to turn over the rocks and find our IFA's.
I made an extensive search for a good investigator by visiting several of the best P.I. firms. They all turned me down saying that it would be hard to investigate a make believe baseball league. And I was laughed at and ridiculed when i became insistant that this was really on the up and up. One Firm suggested i look for a make believe P.I. ,then howled in amuesment.
So I took his advice and I've found a great investigator. This Guy used to be a Super hero and had his own Television show. But the show was cancelled several years back and after several stints in Rehab for his pill popping problems he has opened his own Sleuth Service . Some of you may have guessed that I hired the one and only UNDERDOG!!!

I walked into Underdog Undercover Inc and the Big Canine met me at the door. He showed me to a chair across from an ordinary metal desk with all sorts of gadgets on it. We exchanged pleasantries and I asked? " So Underdog what have you been up to lately?" he rolled his eyes and replied. " Well I just got divorced from that BITCH Polly Purebread . She took the Pups and moved to Wall Walla with a Wiener Dog . Thats fine with me ,the Bitch was in to bondage and i got tired of rescuing her."  " Wow "I said . "Are you sure you can handle this case ? " Underdog jumped up and said " There's no need to fear, Underdog is here! " So that put my mind at ease and I Shook the great pooches hand and we parted company . As I was getting into my waiting cab Underdog stuck his head out the window and said  " When Wrigleyville is in trouble, I am not slow, For it's pip! pip! pip! and away I go." 
As you can see I have hired the best and tune in tomarrow for an update on this investigation . we will find out just what happened to all those juicy IFA's.