Tuesday, April 30, 2013



The voice was unmistakeable. It was Sandbergs voice to be sure. And the voice rang out "Don't just stand there like a drunk Madmuldoon...say something." So I said "Sandberg...er.... just the guy I wanted to see . Whats going on?"  There was a stirring in the back of the cell and it was very dark so I couldn't see. Then slowly a fugure shuffled towards the dim light of the hallway .Two boney sets of fingers grasped the bars and a face with a full beard streaked with grime and dirt poked between the bars. I don't mind telling you people. I was shocked at the withered face of Sandberg. It looked like he was plucked off the set of Castaway.
   I blurted out " Sandberg is it really you? What happened my man? You look terrible". He raised his eyes to meet mine and said "Yes I.B....It's me. I've been in this prison for 473 days now. That dastardly Osimi Bin Downloaden kidnapped me last year and threw me in this hole. The only person I've seen since then was that wife of yours. She made a booty call yesterday saying she would make you pay and pay dearly". Well readers, I was dumbfounded. How could my wife have breached the impenetrable security of WIS?
   Then it dawned on me,  a smile creeped across my handsome face. I started jumping and whooping and hollering with glee. "I'm free of that life sucking bitch! Now that I'm locked up , I no longer have any money coming in. She will be off with the next truck driver she can find. Wooohooo!!!" Just then a hairy wiry arm grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and jerked me around. Guys, I got that sick feeling in my stomach because there is only one person who ever manhandled me like that. My WIFE! God ...No.........No....!
    She said " listen here buster. Don't think for a minute that you can shirk away in this palace of concrete and steel. You're coming with me I.B. And if I don't get my money by payday, you'll be sorry buster!" The She-bitch from hell dragged me out of that dungeon. Past the the guards with their pants around the ankles snoring with smiles from ear to ear. All the while Sandberg was shrieking "No...No I.B. Tell the guys in Wrigleyville that it's not me in control of my teams!!! Please!! Please!! I want my Mommy!!"
   My escape was several days ago and my life has been hell since. My wife is making me take her shopping daily for my insolence.And I have taken this time to write while the bane of my existence is  trying on dress after endless dress. Uh...."no honey that doesn't make your butt look fat". Sorry guys for the interuption so I better finish this up. We still have to visit the shoe store. You all can make your own conclusions to the Sandberg/Groger flap. But 2 things seem clear to me. It looks to me like The super Cyber-Terrorist Osimi Bin Downloaden has struck again.Hijacking Sandbergs computer. And the other, if given the chance I would trade places with Sandberg gladly. He's got it so easy!!

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