Monday, December 7, 2009

Sandleaguer Promises A Turnaround in Season 9

As editor and publisher of the local baseball rag- Going,Going,Gone--(the endangered mammal), I had the extreme privilege of doing a pre-season interview with Jacksonville's own Sandleaguer. The man who brought baseball back to this illustrious city/beach. I caught up with the round mound of baseball at his usual hangout " The Stone Crab Beach Bar and Grille". He was settled in behind a huge plate of oysters and a pint of Arrogant Bastard Ale. So Sand you bought this franchise 4 seasons ago and they have yet to win 60 games is there any hope on the horizon. My first question brought a huge burp and a wipe of the large face. He swilled down the rest of the pint and started his rhetoric. First,I want to thank the loyal Manatee fans for sticking with the club. But it has been a matter of trying to take the quick cheap road to winning. I then asked about the rumors circulating on his involvement with several college age beauties on the beach. A big bellow was followed by "this is as close as I get to the beach, last time I went on it Greenpeace showed up and tried to roll me back in. After last season, I hired several FSU graduate students in finance to give an assessment of the franchise and where the budget needed to be adjusted. Many hours behind closed doors has brought us to a new era in Manatee baseball. You will see improvements in all areas but especially in the free agent market". 2 free agents sat down with us with 2 bikini clad grad students. Leaving them at the table we adjourned to the lanai with a bottle of Makers Mark. Sand countinued " I know that several of the older players are disgruntled for instance Sojo and Morales. I have promised them I will make every effort to trade them to a contender. But my other plan is try and fill in pieces to produce a winner. You will see an entire new face on this ballclub this season, and it will start in the coaching staff. Winners is what I want and winners is what I will get". Taking a tug on his bourbon and a fine maduro cigar he asked is there anything else? If not I have to get to the winter meetings. As he waddled away I heard a refrain of We will be the Champions some day my friend. From this reporters view if Sandleaguer spends like he does on vices this team is going places this season. Go Manatees!!

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